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Flattened Earth – The ICED EARTH Parody Band, Mocks Jon Schaffer With “The Glorious LARP”!

You had to assume this was coming. When we shared all those memes after Jon Schaffer was spotted invading the Capitol, one of the first jokes was taking the band name – Iced Earth – and turning it into “Flat Earth.” One Youtuber has taken things further by parodying one of Iced Earth’s classic songs.

“Flattened Earth is the world’s first historic reenactment band. It is NOT a tribute,” the description reads. “We were inspired by the story of Jon Schaffer, confederate flag guitar enthusiast and leader of mid-to-low tier metal band Iced Earth. Now that his band and the events at the capitol are history, this is our musical conception of his experience.”

The song, “The Glorious LARP” (LARP short for live-action roleplaying) is a play on the 2004 Iced Earth release, The Glorious Burden. The music was written by Brooks Rocco with lyrics by Matt Lee and Rich Horner. Here are the lyrics. Watch below.

Patriots assemble
On this day in history
Guided by the internet
A deep conspiracy
Our President of game shows
Conjured up the plan
We’ll march with flags and bear spray (bear spray)
Into the promised land

Finally I stand and fight
No longer just a pawn
Like my heroes white Jesus Christ
And the evil clown from ‘Spawn’ (and violate!)

Our mighty insurrection did not unfold as planned
All I did was spray some cops with the bear spray in my hand
I wish my deeds were glorious like the martyrs by my side
To tase myself in the balls, have a heart attack and… DIE!!!

Now that I am a wanted man
There is just one way to fly
I must turn myself in to the FBI!!!

Source: MetalInjection

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